Empty Nester and Memories

Empty Nester and Memories. The concept of Empty Nester means different things to each of us. At the beginning, it meant the loss of much of my identity and social life. After years and years of being “her Mom” and “his Mom,” coordinating schedules for choir, band, and sporting events, those times were done and all that was left was me. I had felt so important and vital to the success of so many school related projects and now it was as if I was invisible.

 

Others were now taking those leadership roles and while I was ready to let them, on another level, there was a feeling of ownership that was being cast aside. “Do these new parent’s not realize this is how we have done it? How will they do it as well as we did?”

 

 

 

Several years after our last child was out of high school, we went to a choir concert. A proud parent sitting at the table handing out tickets asked if we had ever seen this group perform before. They were part of the parent organization that helps it all run smoothly. I smiled and said “Yes, I have seen them before.” In my head I was laughing. “Honey, I WAS you for years.” The Mom sewing costumes, the parent working the concession stand, and on and on.

Looking at Memories to Find the Future

The dust has settled and I am ready to begin again. What am I good at? What do I want to do now? Memories of a creative childhood. My love of art was encouraged however, I didn’t have a lot of artists around me to learn from. Most of my creativity was creating something out of “stuff.” I was upcycling before it was a thing.

Luckily, I was in Girl Scouts and we learned lots of art and craft techniques using things we could find. God’s Eyes and dream catchers using sticks and yarn were a favorite. Learning how to create things to serve a purpose. Using twine to make hang toilet paper next to the “rose bowl” hole, putting a stick through a reused milk jug filled with water to make a water dispenser, twisting rope between two trees to hold our paper lunch bags. Girl Scout camp was something I looked forward to every year.

Always a Creator

I remember creating cards for friends and family with a “Future Hallmark design” statement on the back. Decorating birthday cakes with zoo animals made with marshmallows and tooth picks was the way my creative mind worked. My Mom taught me to crochet when I was young and although never knew any fancy stitches, I could make an afghan in no time. We loved macramé’ and there was a hook in the kitchen door jamb ready for our next project.

I took every art class in high school they offered which was not a lot as I went to a small rural school. Watercolor and pastels were my favorite. Art was in my soul. I even took the drafting class in the Shop dept because it was really just another art and drawing class. With a little more self confidence, it would have been great to have taken the traditional Shop classes of wood working, welding, etc, however, it was still in the time frame that “girl’s took Home Ec and boys took Shop.” I took Home Ec.

 

 

 

When I was older, I found cross stitch and thrived on watching the art piece take shape in the elaborate designs made with tiny little stitches. I worked on these even after my children were born. It wasn’t until I found a project that my son had “helped” on without my knowing, that I decided it was time to put these things aside “until the kids are older.” In the meantime, we made lots of projects with paint, cardboard, duct tape, yarn, and construction paper.

And Then There Were Kids

There was a magazine called “Family Fun” and I would eagerly await its arrival and we made great use of the projects described inside. Even after my kids were in high school, I still kept up my subscription. The idea of creativity and imagination was a life raft that kept me afloat. Now it is time to pull out the oars and paddle with purpose and focus to find myself in art again.

Creative Evolution

Watercolor, pastels, and acrylics are the things I now lean towards. Don’t get me wrong. I still crochet (only in Winter. Those who crochet understand.), create penguins out of old tube socks, make and launch a yellow submarine out of cardboard in my garage for the local library Summer Reading Program, decorate the kid’s Christmas boxes into characters, and a million other “figure it out” projects to make life interesting.

While the memories of the times past lead to some moments of melancholy, it is also a smile knowing that all of my experiences have led me to NOW. Empty Nester and Memories. I am the person I am today because of my experiences and it has prepared me for the ADVENTURE to come.  As my friend like to say, ADVENTURE AWAITS!

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